Micasa and countdown to 2010

Yes back in KL now..i tried sustaining myself in Auckland. Guess wot, couldn't work out. Now i am back in KL. I thought after coming back here i would have a rough idea on what i want. Turns out i am still pretty lost. What goals do i have? seriously none. Two more days to go and 2010 will arrive. What's next year's resolution then?

I pretty much fulfill this year's resolution already. Not completely but most of it. I have more than 10 in a list. I should be slightly proud of myself about it. But what about next year's one? Not a clue yet. I found love end of last year but never did work out at all. The love had lasted for many many months. Up till today i still have a bit of it to be honest. I know it will never work out. Not then, not now, not ever. I wonder what the hell is with fate? playing with my destiny?!?! I should let go completely since it is no good for me even from the start. I must remind myself that i am strong enough to overcome anything. And hoping that soon, God will send someone who is right for me.

I do have a guy who is dating me now. What can i say, is another long distance relationship again. This guy is a very nice guy, but would it work out?, that's a different story. Meanwhile, still maintaining it though. I like him but not love him. Ah well!

Christmas Eve was awesome. I did not regret coming back for this year's jolly season. Something incredible did happen. Joe proposed to P. San at 12 am Christmas day. Couldn't ask for more. Was my best gift ever for Christmas to witness such things. The joy was over whelming as i could not even use any words to describe how incredible or beautiful the feeling was. Everyone was present. Thank God for that!

But now i have even bigger problems in life. What the hell do i want to do with my life? Study again. Seriously, i hate studying. I know the only way to leave M'sia is to do another degree in Ausie. But i really wanna start working and depend on myself for money. God has help me to get a job in Auckland. It was not what i want. If God knows best, why can't i contact him back? And help me again. Doubting God? Fully. I know it is bad and wrong to doubt God. But there are times, when a person is really in need, a person will be desperate. I am now in that position. Very much are indeed.

I realize everyone has change as all of them has their own life already. I am not sad about it as i anticipated this a long time ago. But inside me still wish that we could go back like how we used to be. I would not say i am the same me as before. I have definitely grow by living apart from them and being else where from them. Now to maintain this better me and continue growing is another step that i need to do. How to do it? i have yet to think about. But i will make sure to not slip backwards but to only charge forward.

HuiLian & MunLye Virgo babies

HAppy Burfday in Advance LOVEssSs,
This is the 2nd year i've missed both of your bdays,
I did not plan for it,
but just couldn't make it back home for anyone's bday.
Hope you both like the carDss that i'm about to send tomorrow.
And of course,
a cake for you both.

I'm so sorry for not being able to make it for both of your birthdays.

Love Always,
wOndneY

Brisbane my love!

I just got back from Brisbane. Yes! it's Brisbane again, same place, seeing the same things, well, not literally everything. This time, it was my eldest sister's turn to graduate from the same Uni as my bro did last time. And their graduation ceremony is totally different from what i have. More entertaining as there are more people and the convention hall is bigger. Needless to say, the uni is really a uni like what u see in the movies. Harry Potter from Griffith yeap..something like those! But without magic that's all.

I had a really great time in Brisbane, makes me wanna stay and not go home. Winter in Brisbane is awesome, it is exactly like summer in Auckland here, which is nice, u dont have to wear a few layers out. Can be agitating you know! Dad ask me to apply for the same uni as my bro and sis graduated from and continue with my masters. To me, that's like a last resort thing if i am not able to get a job here in Auckland.

If you're asking me whether do i want to go back to KL to work or not, seriously, i realize that i can do so much more if i am working in NZ or Ausie. I have too many dreams and i want to pursue them. U ask how?..Money of course. Money is the key to every dream. Like they say, no money, no talk. If i head back to KL that means low income, and your dreams will hardly ever come around. Plus night life there is a distraction lol....

I need a change. I am doing everything i can to have a better life. I know that i want a change so badly, that i've become desperate for a change. Anyway, while i was boarding the plane to Brisbane, i feel like somehow, i kind of lost my identity. As in, like i don't know where i belong to. I don't feel like i belong to M'sia or NZ or neither definitely Ausie. So lost in a split second. But oh well....!! I'll find myself...just have to trust in God.

Im supposed to put up some pics but just learn that my sister has cut the pics out from my memory card.. WHAT THE HELL!!

Until next time, ill post everything out!

Sulking time

I came back home just to find myself crying.
Why?
Za, my house mate went back to M'sia for good,
another thing is,
i wasn't used to not having her presence around.
On that same day,
it was raining, i just wanna rub it in.
And when i was working,
i hurt my finger.
No biggie,
But it has been numb from last Saturday until now.
I'm pretty sure it's dead.
What's more worse?,
Receiving an email from the company i was hoping to get in,
Saying....
Sorry, you're just not qualified yet. Try again next time.
Why am i putting up so much of shit here?
I could be happy TOO, ya know!
IF ONLY.....

I was thinkin bout u after all

No matter when or where, whenever i watch Naruto, It'll always reminds of me n you back in the days where we wud spent our weekends together watching it. Even after calling it quits for more than a year, the feeling of it, is very unforgettable. I wonder why....but i am entirely sure that i have gotten over you 100%. I do still miss the days we spent together, but i do not want to have another time with you again......So, weird...that i am still thinking about you after all!!

Want to be a juggler?

So, finally i found another job that pays me.... FYI it's waitressing...if u r wondering what happen to my the other job...is still there. I am trying to juggle with 2 jobs. Seriously, i find it very hard. I really have no idea how people deal with it. Or maybe it's just me...don't know how to manage my time well to suit things....SIGH~~

I never thought i'd be a waitress. To me i never like getting my hands dirty. But u know what, i find it very enjoyable working in a cafeteria. Heaps of things to do to keep you busy. Not to say being a promoter you don't have things to do, but there are times where there's no customers and you just stand at the counter and dream away. Time flies by real slow...1 minute is like an hour~~

I guess when they say networking is very important, it's true. This job, i didn't have to apply for anything and i got it, because i knew the owner. Reality suck. You want to do everything yourself but in fact, you need to depend on networks to fulfill your dream. I was told that "It's not what you know, it's the people you know that is important". Even if you're a dumb ass, if u have good connections, you will be on top in no time. Harsh..!!

yeap another entry about 8pohs

Another Friday nyt out in my living room. Was suppose to work but well, i don't want to, so....here i am chatting with May and Jiun. Only to find out, they hardly hang out together. Unlike ol' days there isn't a time, where we stayed at home during weekends. We will sure to find something to do though there aren't much to do.

I guess those days will never come back looking at everyone now. Work, boy friend or wrong time. And maybe it is because a few of us are abroad, the group has less people and not worth coming out to chillex. I told Jiun, at least we didn't take things for granted last time, we played until we got bored. Nothing to regret about eventho things wouldn't go back the way it is. But i do hope we would still be like last time. I really cannot help myself reminiscing about the past.

As for me i don't even have them around. SAD!! Can't wait to see them...Hope to see them ASAP too...

Missing you all always

Love:
Wondney