2010 resolution "A better me of last year"

Yes peeps! It's 2010 and March already. I haven't write out my 2010's resolution. Hey it is still 2010 after all. I had a lil bit of time to figure things out. Like really clear my head off with things. Last year's resolution was fulfilling and i am very proud of myself for being able to keep up. This year would be different as i am now in M'sia no more in New Zealand. More temptation and hard to keep up with life.

Here's another list to fulfill this year:

1. Set up 2010 Calendar n stick it on the wall
2. Winter Clothes for wash
3. Clean the wardrobe to replace new clothes
4. Count your cash to keep track with your spending
5. New Hair do
6. New Lifestyle (healthy one)
7. Excercise
8.Shopping for new clothes n make-up
9. Lotion your damage skin
10. Be Orgnize (get a planner)
11. Note pad to remember things
12. Find things to keep your brain running
13. Never stop reading or finding out things
14. Find a church that suits you
15. Be true to yourself
16. List the things you wanna do
17. Implement all ideas you have in mind
18. Searh for jobs again!! make sure work hard n try to listen to wot they're telling you
19. Photography learn more, experiment more and find out more!
20. Piano lessons
21. Dance class!

That's all for now. Let's see how many can i cross out xD

Living is not about FINDING YOURSELF but CREATING YOURSELF.

Change

Wednesday was the last day that i'll ever party with Stephy as she has just board the plane back to Glasgow this morning. We went to Redbox for her farewell party. This is the first time heading to Redbox after 2 years not being with them. Yes, i've notice, everyone has changed. Jene, not too much, Bridget not too much, Huilian not too much but Munlye and Geetmay a lot. Not as fun as before. Maybe it is becoz Geetmay wasn't feeling well that night so she didn't went hard out. But things are definitely different from the last time. Or was it just me? who wants us to stay the same way like how we used to partied?

Was i upset? was i mad? was i unhappy about the changes? Really, of course i'd wish that we would be like how we used to. I guess i've been anticipating this for quite sometime and still trying to accept the fact that everybody is going to have their own life sooner or later. Still, i couldn't help it but to wish we would be like how we used to. I would never forget the days we had. Miss it so much. I kept hugging everybody i see who are closed to me. Afraid don't know when is the next time that i'll ever see them again. So very afraid of not being able to hug them or kiss them lol..This few weeks had only been spending time with them and no others. I had the best time of my life i must say. Best Christmas, Best New Year's Eve despite the first few hours was crap. As long as they are around things are beautiful even if it's the simplest things.

I met up with this very ol' good friend of mine "Enzo", and to think that i was lost at every point of my life, he always manage to lift my hopes up again by advising me and reminding me the simple things in life. I don't like or want to say it out, but the connection between me and my best friend is very vague. I don't know how to put it into words but "vague" i guess can be use to describe how our relationship is. I never thought of letting this relationship or our bond go into the drain. But i am struggling for ways to re-connect us back together. You know i would never give us up but i just could not find ways to reach out to her like how i used to. Funny, this friend of mine said, you don' t have to try so hard. Just be there for her. That's all you need to do. Best friends need not say much because of the chemistry or how should i say, the bond/relationship for so many years, understanding each others thinking by gestures. It does make sense, just be there for her no matter what happens.

I can tell you that we still like the same things, we have almost close to having the same taste and everything. But of course, this two years, we've been apart, she went through somethings which i wasnt able to go through with her and same goes for me as well. She's really more introverted now compared before. I am less extroverted myself lol as well but not as hard out as she is. I guess to revive us back is to be there for her as simple as it is.

Micasa and countdown to 2010

Yes back in KL now..i tried sustaining myself in Auckland. Guess wot, couldn't work out. Now i am back in KL. I thought after coming back here i would have a rough idea on what i want. Turns out i am still pretty lost. What goals do i have? seriously none. Two more days to go and 2010 will arrive. What's next year's resolution then?

I pretty much fulfill this year's resolution already. Not completely but most of it. I have more than 10 in a list. I should be slightly proud of myself about it. But what about next year's one? Not a clue yet. I found love end of last year but never did work out at all. The love had lasted for many many months. Up till today i still have a bit of it to be honest. I know it will never work out. Not then, not now, not ever. I wonder what the hell is with fate? playing with my destiny?!?! I should let go completely since it is no good for me even from the start. I must remind myself that i am strong enough to overcome anything. And hoping that soon, God will send someone who is right for me.

I do have a guy who is dating me now. What can i say, is another long distance relationship again. This guy is a very nice guy, but would it work out?, that's a different story. Meanwhile, still maintaining it though. I like him but not love him. Ah well!

Christmas Eve was awesome. I did not regret coming back for this year's jolly season. Something incredible did happen. Joe proposed to P. San at 12 am Christmas day. Couldn't ask for more. Was my best gift ever for Christmas to witness such things. The joy was over whelming as i could not even use any words to describe how incredible or beautiful the feeling was. Everyone was present. Thank God for that!

But now i have even bigger problems in life. What the hell do i want to do with my life? Study again. Seriously, i hate studying. I know the only way to leave M'sia is to do another degree in Ausie. But i really wanna start working and depend on myself for money. God has help me to get a job in Auckland. It was not what i want. If God knows best, why can't i contact him back? And help me again. Doubting God? Fully. I know it is bad and wrong to doubt God. But there are times, when a person is really in need, a person will be desperate. I am now in that position. Very much are indeed.

I realize everyone has change as all of them has their own life already. I am not sad about it as i anticipated this a long time ago. But inside me still wish that we could go back like how we used to be. I would not say i am the same me as before. I have definitely grow by living apart from them and being else where from them. Now to maintain this better me and continue growing is another step that i need to do. How to do it? i have yet to think about. But i will make sure to not slip backwards but to only charge forward.

HuiLian & MunLye Virgo babies

HAppy Burfday in Advance LOVEssSs,
This is the 2nd year i've missed both of your bdays,
I did not plan for it,
but just couldn't make it back home for anyone's bday.
Hope you both like the carDss that i'm about to send tomorrow.
And of course,
a cake for you both.

I'm so sorry for not being able to make it for both of your birthdays.

Love Always,
wOndneY

Brisbane my love!

I just got back from Brisbane. Yes! it's Brisbane again, same place, seeing the same things, well, not literally everything. This time, it was my eldest sister's turn to graduate from the same Uni as my bro did last time. And their graduation ceremony is totally different from what i have. More entertaining as there are more people and the convention hall is bigger. Needless to say, the uni is really a uni like what u see in the movies. Harry Potter from Griffith yeap..something like those! But without magic that's all.

I had a really great time in Brisbane, makes me wanna stay and not go home. Winter in Brisbane is awesome, it is exactly like summer in Auckland here, which is nice, u dont have to wear a few layers out. Can be agitating you know! Dad ask me to apply for the same uni as my bro and sis graduated from and continue with my masters. To me, that's like a last resort thing if i am not able to get a job here in Auckland.

If you're asking me whether do i want to go back to KL to work or not, seriously, i realize that i can do so much more if i am working in NZ or Ausie. I have too many dreams and i want to pursue them. U ask how?..Money of course. Money is the key to every dream. Like they say, no money, no talk. If i head back to KL that means low income, and your dreams will hardly ever come around. Plus night life there is a distraction lol....

I need a change. I am doing everything i can to have a better life. I know that i want a change so badly, that i've become desperate for a change. Anyway, while i was boarding the plane to Brisbane, i feel like somehow, i kind of lost my identity. As in, like i don't know where i belong to. I don't feel like i belong to M'sia or NZ or neither definitely Ausie. So lost in a split second. But oh well....!! I'll find myself...just have to trust in God.

Im supposed to put up some pics but just learn that my sister has cut the pics out from my memory card.. WHAT THE HELL!!

Until next time, ill post everything out!

Sulking time

I came back home just to find myself crying.
Why?
Za, my house mate went back to M'sia for good,
another thing is,
i wasn't used to not having her presence around.
On that same day,
it was raining, i just wanna rub it in.
And when i was working,
i hurt my finger.
No biggie,
But it has been numb from last Saturday until now.
I'm pretty sure it's dead.
What's more worse?,
Receiving an email from the company i was hoping to get in,
Saying....
Sorry, you're just not qualified yet. Try again next time.
Why am i putting up so much of shit here?
I could be happy TOO, ya know!
IF ONLY.....