Life...tsk! tsk! tsk!

Wake up and smell the flowers..Graduation is finally over.. What's next?!?!....applying for working visa. Desperate to have a proper job here...really really desperate....Can't wait to work and slowly secure myself financially...Heard it's a bit hard to get a job here...But i'm risking everything to stay here..choosing to stay here, when my life is in back in kl...i heard my friend's are picking up part time job in some banks on the weekends...well, looking at them motivates me to even wanna work harder. But then first thing is first, have to get a FUCKING JOB here...not easy!!not easy!! Please God help me in getting me a job. Only you can provide me a job now and no one else. I write this out to remind me to have continuous faith in you. As i know, i easily loose faith.

Next thing, yes i couldn't believe myself that we've been separated for so long already. Looking at your now pics, brings me back to the times where we used to spent time together and i used to tell myself that time, that i don't think i can ever let you go. Look at me now....being all happy without you in my life. If you ask me, do i want another chance in getting back with you and having a life with you again...i would say no. Things has change, my perspective in seeing things has broaden. But nevertheless i have gained a lot in the past relationship i have with you. I learned how to love, how to care, how to be patient, how to not be stubborn, how to take other people's feeling into consideration before speaking, learn how to put my pride away, learn how to give in and lastly, i was in love with your family. All these experience i have with you brings me to a step further in life. I shall say that you are the first real relationship i have ever gotten into. And for some reason i thought we will be together forever. I guess everything really happens for a reason. It's all good now. I wish u have a jubilee life ahead of you. And thank you for everything.

I've just sent my mom, bro n sis off to the airport yesterday. Somehow, this is my first time missing mom in years. I have never miss mom in like so many years after since i hated her for some time. But this time is different. I miss her staying in my place. I miss her cooking and washing for me. I miss her talking to me and hugging me. I didn't cry tho when i sent them to the airport. Guess was too tired to even cry. After sending them off and head back home for a good rest, the feeling of lonesome came back. Felt like something is missing. When they were here with me i feel so secure and laid back. Now, all alone again. It's fine. I'll try to find something to feel in the gap. Hopefully soon enough before i fall into depression again!

Enough for tonight. Next would be my grad pics and holiday pics with family...

Oyasuminasai