Exams over for more than a week now...and i'll be getting my results by tomorrow...i shud be happy about it but rather i'm anxious and worried because i didnt perform well for one of my subjects...And its getting more and more boring over here now..there's another 4 more months to go before i can apparently leave this place for good..i cannot imagine how am i going to go through x'mas, new year's eve, CNY alone..plus Valentine's day...well' Valentine's day its fine not everybody has someone to spend it so it doesnt bother me much...but the rest i'd say its a pretty much needa get together kinda thing.
Last year's Christmas was abit dull i would say...was an indoor celebration. As for new year's eve, it was a disaster. This year's Christmas and new year's eve would be definitely different from what i used to have back in K.L. but then hmm....i can't seem to feel the joy of it..They say the people whom u spent time with are the ones that really counts and not the place and now i totally agree to what they said as i used to disagree. I used to think that places matters when u want an unforgettable memory with the people you spend with...CNY i dun mind working and not celebrating it..
Another 4 more months to go....i really cant wait to get out of Auckland....im wondering whether would i miss Auckland once i touch down K.L? i would miss the weather here tht's one thing for sure..the life i have in Auckland?!?! i doubt so.... It's been 10 months now i've been here in Auckland. Did i really learn anything here...i would say yes i did..i am glad to get out of M'sia for once and experience life in another country but sadly, i have to sacrifice somethings in order to pursue my dreams..calling me selfish? i admit...i am in a way...And i believe everybody is selfish in their own ways its a matter of to what certain extent your selfishness goes..They say in order to achieve what one wants, one has to sacrifice other things in life to reach it...I totally agree eventhough everybody wants to keep everything with them. Although New Zealand was never my ideal place to be, well, at least i get to experience life outside of my country.
At first, i thought i would be strong and will be able to handle what ever obstacle because this is what i wanted all along..Fact is different...things get tougher here...wasn't easy to adapt to a new life as i was so comfortable with the old life. Getting to know new people wasn't as easy as you think. Afraid of discrimination, how would people look at you and so on. My level of confidence was never high enough, it is always at the lowest bar, i can only talk to people whom i felt comfortable with otherwise i'll just keep my mouth shut. While being here, i am lack of motivation to even get up from bed to start my day. Dragging myself from bed is one, dragging myself out of the house is second and to walk up the freakin hill is third. My initial plan was to stay here and get a job after my graduation...from what i see now...i don't think i would wanna spend my days here struggle every morning to get to work..trying to find meanings to having a life here.
I have big dreams...dreams of getting out from homeland and work in other people's country. Experiencing life where somewhere the grass is greener on the other side of the world. Unfortunately, my heart wants to stay with the people whom i cherish very much. A friend once told me, not everybody wants to go out to the world and explore leaving their loves ones behind..it all depends on individuals whether is it worth it or not..I now come to realize that after landing here for some time. Before, i was wondering why would anyone give up such an opportunity to explore other places?.....i guess it was only me who didn't understand the meaning of life.
Last year's Christmas was abit dull i would say...was an indoor celebration. As for new year's eve, it was a disaster. This year's Christmas and new year's eve would be definitely different from what i used to have back in K.L. but then hmm....i can't seem to feel the joy of it..They say the people whom u spent time with are the ones that really counts and not the place and now i totally agree to what they said as i used to disagree. I used to think that places matters when u want an unforgettable memory with the people you spend with...CNY i dun mind working and not celebrating it..
Another 4 more months to go....i really cant wait to get out of Auckland....im wondering whether would i miss Auckland once i touch down K.L? i would miss the weather here tht's one thing for sure..the life i have in Auckland?!?! i doubt so.... It's been 10 months now i've been here in Auckland. Did i really learn anything here...i would say yes i did..i am glad to get out of M'sia for once and experience life in another country but sadly, i have to sacrifice somethings in order to pursue my dreams..calling me selfish? i admit...i am in a way...And i believe everybody is selfish in their own ways its a matter of to what certain extent your selfishness goes..They say in order to achieve what one wants, one has to sacrifice other things in life to reach it...I totally agree eventhough everybody wants to keep everything with them. Although New Zealand was never my ideal place to be, well, at least i get to experience life outside of my country.
At first, i thought i would be strong and will be able to handle what ever obstacle because this is what i wanted all along..Fact is different...things get tougher here...wasn't easy to adapt to a new life as i was so comfortable with the old life. Getting to know new people wasn't as easy as you think. Afraid of discrimination, how would people look at you and so on. My level of confidence was never high enough, it is always at the lowest bar, i can only talk to people whom i felt comfortable with otherwise i'll just keep my mouth shut. While being here, i am lack of motivation to even get up from bed to start my day. Dragging myself from bed is one, dragging myself out of the house is second and to walk up the freakin hill is third. My initial plan was to stay here and get a job after my graduation...from what i see now...i don't think i would wanna spend my days here struggle every morning to get to work..trying to find meanings to having a life here.
I have big dreams...dreams of getting out from homeland and work in other people's country. Experiencing life where somewhere the grass is greener on the other side of the world. Unfortunately, my heart wants to stay with the people whom i cherish very much. A friend once told me, not everybody wants to go out to the world and explore leaving their loves ones behind..it all depends on individuals whether is it worth it or not..I now come to realize that after landing here for some time. Before, i was wondering why would anyone give up such an opportunity to explore other places?.....i guess it was only me who didn't understand the meaning of life.
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