Subject: FLIRTING

"Why would you want to flirt or fool around when you're in a relationship,
might as well, don't be in one,
if you're thinking of flirting or fooling around"
It beats the purpose of being in a relationship.

This is what a friend told me whilst we were doing some catch ups. You are right, thank you for clearing my head as it has always been HAZY on this subject for the past few years.

What does flirting means?

1. Definition: Behave as if trying to attract someone sexually but without serious intentions
2. Definition: (flirt with) show a casual interest in.

My theory on Flirting comes in 2. #1 Flirting with intentions, which suits the definition from the above. #2 Flirting without intentions, you talk but it somehow accidentally attracted the opposite sex which wasn't supposed to happen (or it could be not considered flirting, just crap).

Now, don't get me wrong here, i don't like my partner to flirt neither i would when i'm in a relationship. Has always been against it, as flirting opens a gap of opportunity for others to intrude the relationship. Here's the story, my previous partner was a flirter, i knew he was one as i met him and caught up with him in a wrong place. But, the place i met him didn't tell me that he is one. It's the things he says(sweet talker). I admit, it was against my principle to fall for someone whom i met in a club. And so, i've met the consequences of it. Nevertheless, during the relationship, as much as i want to believe that he is not one, i was just being denial to the max. Which leads me through a lot of pain. It's true though, when they say, the closer you get to something, the tougher it is to see. I was just too blind and denial to face the truth. As i want to believe he is the person whom i wish he was.

Turns out nah!! He wasn't and never was. Had a very good lesson, but was it learned?, it has yet to be reveal. Sometimes, it made me think that flirting was in his blood or something, because through my observation, his dad too is like him. I look up to his mother very highly as she can stand the fact that her husband is flirting right in front of her very naked eyes. Imagine how many years they have been together. I would have gone crazy. Why am i writing this again? Seriously, i want to get it out from my heart and brain as it has been stuck there for quite sometime. Clogging my thoughts and feelings, confusing me on what's right and what's wrong. I've been in a state of confusion for too long over this matter.

Questions are like these...Is it alright to flirt? If it's not, why is he doing it? And somehow, it leads to What does Flirting means anyway?.... So, now you know.

To wrap this up...i believe flirting is very wrong when you're in a relationship. Think of your partner's feeling, if he/she would to do that to you, what or how would you feel? And....flirting will only leads to more disasters as one is attracting the attention of another because of what?You don't do it for fun. There's a purpose to it Biatch!. Which i must say, IT'S PERFECTLY WRONG!! and it's not okay. Saying that one will flirt lesser would never help either as it is WRONG WRONG WRONG! How stupid is that. Flirt lesser. Makes ZERO sense at all! You want a great relationship and things to work out, fooling and flirting is not the answer to it. Being faithful, loyal, honest and sincere is the key to it.

Closer

You've gotta be extra careful with
The things that are close and dearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
Explain to me all your happiness
That you just experienced by my side
Or maybe you're so blessed in ways that
You can't even remember it all
That you are standing here with me
That you live and breathe and see and feel
They're all little miracles and wonder
Just by themselves.
You've gotta be extra careful with
The things that are close and dearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
And I'll never take it for granted
It's fine to say "Never give up"
Say "Keep chasing your dreams on"
But the more time you spend talking big
The less you get done with life
I'll let that handful of courage in my heart
Help me survive another day
And I'll never take it for granted
Let's go!

Quoted: OEJ EUONI

Lost in translation

I wish there was someone who understands my feeling,
understand what i'm going through,
help me out and be there for me,
be my shelter when it's raining,
be my tree and shade me when the sun is shining,
be my telescope to show me the blinking stars,
be my angel to protect me,
Unfortunately, no one can be that shining star.
As much as i want to, i, myself neither couldn't even perform what i've just said.
Lost between reality and fantasy.
Once again, i'm lost.
As my soul has not return to me.
Have never learned my lesson even hitting the ground once.
Knowing that it will counter me back instead.
Why do i still risk playing it,
When the consequences of it is so obvious,
Feeling jaded.
I've lost the game.
Who am i to blame?
Only myself.

A Getaway from Auckland city

What's new?...mmm...let's see...i just got to know that my convocation date has change to middle of February..which is one of the most amazing thing has ever happened...to me that is....after that i called up my dad and mom to tell them about it and also my best friend...whilst i was talking to her she suddenly took her mic up and put it up on her eyes...this is one of the weirdest behaviour i've ever seen and it's super funny..check this out...

Shhh...i secretly took her pic...muahahaha



Aiyor...yor...apa ni?!?! i really dont know what is she trying to do but its damn funny....she put the mic at her eyes there as if her eyes were talking to it...And yes say HELLO to my new credit card and eftpos card..look so much nicer than the previous ones tht i had..

Latest..
Previous....
See the difference....one more vibrant than the other one...Tehee!!but i like Westpac's Eftpos card tho..cuter!!Aaah...i was away for the weekend to some nice beach...relaxing and having fun...just purely FUN and away from the city.....While on the way to Corramendel, Grace had to stop a few times because of my Car Sick...so sorry guys..well at least we got nice shots of the sceneries right!?!?or mayb not~~

I know i look kinda hideous with the car sick face LOL...
The beach..mmm i didn't take much pic of myself..was damn lazy

Another one of my ugly moments of camwhoring..


Last days in Corramendal....

The Chef and Baker...
Yup....tht's my getaway from Auckland city with a bunch of people....nice people...i enjoyed the trip very much...i've not been happier in Auckland without u all..thank you for the trip...and again so sorry about the car sick...!!

Plansss...planssss..plansssssaaa!!!

Results are out...not what i wanted them to be but anyhow, i manage to pass everything..So, this means say good bye to study life for the rest of my life, unless..... if i want to pursue a higher level which would not happen anytime soon..So tired of studying already..Now, take a breath and enjoy the view...after awhile, this town is fuggin boring man!! Due to my poor performance for the final semester in Uni, i've decided to make a "to do list" to improve myself. No point of looking back on what i should have done to improve my studies now aye! I only know that i was tired of studying ever since last year, but oh well..time to look into the future. This is what i've come up with:

My so called "FUTURE Self-IMPROVEMENT PLAN"

1. Reflective writing (1 month once)
• This is to make one realize what has happen and take everything that's been gained into account. Also, to learn how to appreciate things in life.

1. Take Note
• Take down everything i can. Especially while working. Buy a nice lil note pad for myself and encourage myself more to take down all informations. This is because i have a gold fish memory *sad*

1. Never stop learning
• If uncertain with things, it should be cleared by asking despite being fugged. "Better safe than sorry". Old boss told me "No questions are wrong". This is one way ticket for self improvement .
2. Reminder (of positive things)

• Falling doesn't mean you're loosing forever. If a person do not fall, how shall that person knows how to climb back up on his/her feet again? Everybody learns through mistakes, that's how one learns to be a better person through mistakes. "Nobody is perfect". Tough i know!!People will only grow through tough times. Hardened one's heart and to be even more wicked muahahaha!! (joking ok!)
• Don't care how others look at you. This will only leads to self-disruption. The world has too many angles to see things, that's why there's no one dead point of view.
• Always be alert around you.
• Do not take things for granted.
• Nothing is easy in life. It always has to start from square one to reach the end. So, Don't be lazy. It's time to work hard to foresee a secure future.
• Vision is always healthy. Lessen you from side tracking.

Lastly, health plays apart as well. Well, it's all stated up there any suggestions please feel free to drop in and lemme know. Maybe i can add it up into my future account.

My random thoughts

Exams over for more than a week now...and i'll be getting my results by tomorrow...i shud be happy about it but rather i'm anxious and worried because i didnt perform well for one of my subjects...And its getting more and more boring over here now..there's another 4 more months to go before i can apparently leave this place for good..i cannot imagine how am i going to go through x'mas, new year's eve, CNY alone..plus Valentine's day...well' Valentine's day its fine not everybody has someone to spend it so it doesnt bother me much...but the rest i'd say its a pretty much needa get together kinda thing.

Last year's Christmas was abit dull i would say...was an indoor celebration. As for new year's eve, it was a disaster. This year's Christmas and new year's eve would be definitely different from what i used to have back in K.L. but then hmm....i can't seem to feel the joy of it..They say the people whom u spent time with are the ones that really counts and not the place and now i totally agree to what they said as i used to disagree. I used to think that places matters when u want an unforgettable memory with the people you spend with...CNY i dun mind working and not celebrating it..

Another 4 more months to go....i really cant wait to get out of Auckland....im wondering whether would i miss Auckland once i touch down K.L? i would miss the weather here tht's one thing for sure..the life i have in Auckland?!?! i doubt so.... It's been 10 months now i've been here in Auckland. Did i really learn anything here...i would say yes i did..i am glad to get out of M'sia for once and experience life in another country but sadly, i have to sacrifice somethings in order to pursue my dreams..calling me selfish? i admit...i am in a way...And i believe everybody is selfish in their own ways its a matter of to what certain extent your selfishness goes..They say in order to achieve what one wants, one has to sacrifice other things in life to reach it...I totally agree eventhough everybody wants to keep everything with them. Although New Zealand was never my ideal place to be, well, at least i get to experience life outside of my country.

At first, i thought i would be strong and will be able to handle what ever obstacle because this is what i wanted all along..Fact is different...things get tougher here...wasn't easy to adapt to a new life as i was so comfortable with the old life. Getting to know new people wasn't as easy as you think. Afraid of discrimination, how would people look at you and so on. My level of confidence was never high enough, it is always at the lowest bar, i can only talk to people whom i felt comfortable with otherwise i'll just keep my mouth shut. While being here, i am lack of motivation to even get up from bed to start my day. Dragging myself from bed is one, dragging myself out of the house is second and to walk up the freakin hill is third. My initial plan was to stay here and get a job after my graduation...from what i see now...i don't think i would wanna spend my days here struggle every morning to get to work..trying to find meanings to having a life here.

I have big dreams...dreams of getting out from homeland and work in other people's country. Experiencing life where somewhere the grass is greener on the other side of the world. Unfortunately, my heart wants to stay with the people whom i cherish very much. A friend once told me, not everybody wants to go out to the world and explore leaving their loves ones behind..it all depends on individuals whether is it worth it or not..I now come to realize that after landing here for some time. Before, i was wondering why would anyone give up such an opportunity to explore other places?.....i guess it was only me who didn't understand the meaning of life.

i LoVe yOu

You see the world is out there,
waiting for me,
that's why i wanna be as free as can be,
i know that you've been good,
and you've sweet,
So don't put up a fight,
just let it be,
Well, i hope one day while i'm missin you,
and so will you be thinking of me,
and we can be together,
to laugh about the past
But the love is still there for you and me.....

Quoted: uOy eVoL i yb NeHc nOsiDe