Yes back in KL now..i tried sustaining myself in Auckland. Guess wot, couldn't work out. Now i am back in KL. I thought after coming back here i would have a rough idea on what i want. Turns out i am still pretty lost. What goals do i have? seriously none. Two more days to go and 2010 will arrive. What's next year's resolution then?
I pretty much fulfill this year's resolution already. Not completely but most of it. I have more than 10 in a list. I should be slightly proud of myself about it. But what about next year's one? Not a clue yet. I found love end of last year but never did work out at all. The love had lasted for many many months. Up till today i still have a bit of it to be honest. I know it will never work out. Not then, not now, not ever. I wonder what the hell is with fate? playing with my destiny?!?! I should let go completely since it is no good for me even from the start. I must remind myself that i am strong enough to overcome anything. And hoping that soon, God will send someone who is right for me.
I do have a guy who is dating me now. What can i say, is another long distance relationship again. This guy is a very nice guy, but would it work out?, that's a different story. Meanwhile, still maintaining it though. I like him but not love him. Ah well!
Christmas Eve was awesome. I did not regret coming back for this year's jolly season. Something incredible did happen. Joe proposed to P. San at 12 am Christmas day. Couldn't ask for more. Was my best gift ever for Christmas to witness such things. The joy was over whelming as i could not even use any words to describe how incredible or beautiful the feeling was. Everyone was present. Thank God for that!
But now i have even bigger problems in life. What the hell do i want to do with my life? Study again. Seriously, i hate studying. I know the only way to leave M'sia is to do another degree in Ausie. But i really wanna start working and depend on myself for money. God has help me to get a job in Auckland. It was not what i want. If God knows best, why can't i contact him back? And help me again. Doubting God? Fully. I know it is bad and wrong to doubt God. But there are times, when a person is really in need, a person will be desperate. I am now in that position. Very much are indeed.
I realize everyone has change as all of them has their own life already. I am not sad about it as i anticipated this a long time ago. But inside me still wish that we could go back like how we used to be. I would not say i am the same me as before. I have definitely grow by living apart from them and being else where from them. Now to maintain this better me and continue growing is another step that i need to do. How to do it? i have yet to think about. But i will make sure to not slip backwards but to only charge forward.
12/29/2009
9/03/2009
HuiLian & MunLye Virgo babies
HAppy Burfday in Advance LOVEssSs,
This is the 2nd year i've missed both of your bdays,
I did not plan for it,
but just couldn't make it back home for anyone's bday.
Hope you both like the carDss that i'm about to send tomorrow.
And of course,
a cake for you both.
I'm so sorry for not being able to make it for both of your birthdays.
This is the 2nd year i've missed both of your bdays,
I did not plan for it,
but just couldn't make it back home for anyone's bday.
Hope you both like the carDss that i'm about to send tomorrow.
And of course,
a cake for you both.
I'm so sorry for not being able to make it for both of your birthdays.
Love Always,
wOndneY
wOndneY
7/31/2009
Brisbane my love!
I just got back from Brisbane. Yes! it's Brisbane again, same place, seeing the same things, well, not literally everything. This time, it was my eldest sister's turn to graduate from the same Uni as my bro did last time. And their graduation ceremony is totally different from what i have. More entertaining as there are more people and the convention hall is bigger. Needless to say, the uni is really a uni like what u see in the movies. Harry Potter from Griffith yeap..something like those! But without magic that's all.
I had a really great time in Brisbane, makes me wanna stay and not go home. Winter in Brisbane is awesome, it is exactly like summer in Auckland here, which is nice, u dont have to wear a few layers out. Can be agitating you know! Dad ask me to apply for the same uni as my bro and sis graduated from and continue with my masters. To me, that's like a last resort thing if i am not able to get a job here in Auckland.
If you're asking me whether do i want to go back to KL to work or not, seriously, i realize that i can do so much more if i am working in NZ or Ausie. I have too many dreams and i want to pursue them. U ask how?..Money of course. Money is the key to every dream. Like they say, no money, no talk. If i head back to KL that means low income, and your dreams will hardly ever come around. Plus night life there is a distraction lol....
I need a change. I am doing everything i can to have a better life. I know that i want a change so badly, that i've become desperate for a change. Anyway, while i was boarding the plane to Brisbane, i feel like somehow, i kind of lost my identity. As in, like i don't know where i belong to. I don't feel like i belong to M'sia or NZ or neither definitely Ausie. So lost in a split second. But oh well....!! I'll find myself...just have to trust in God.
Im supposed to put up some pics but just learn that my sister has cut the pics out from my memory card.. WHAT THE HELL!!
Until next time, ill post everything out!
I had a really great time in Brisbane, makes me wanna stay and not go home. Winter in Brisbane is awesome, it is exactly like summer in Auckland here, which is nice, u dont have to wear a few layers out. Can be agitating you know! Dad ask me to apply for the same uni as my bro and sis graduated from and continue with my masters. To me, that's like a last resort thing if i am not able to get a job here in Auckland.
If you're asking me whether do i want to go back to KL to work or not, seriously, i realize that i can do so much more if i am working in NZ or Ausie. I have too many dreams and i want to pursue them. U ask how?..Money of course. Money is the key to every dream. Like they say, no money, no talk. If i head back to KL that means low income, and your dreams will hardly ever come around. Plus night life there is a distraction lol....
I need a change. I am doing everything i can to have a better life. I know that i want a change so badly, that i've become desperate for a change. Anyway, while i was boarding the plane to Brisbane, i feel like somehow, i kind of lost my identity. As in, like i don't know where i belong to. I don't feel like i belong to M'sia or NZ or neither definitely Ausie. So lost in a split second. But oh well....!! I'll find myself...just have to trust in God.
Im supposed to put up some pics but just learn that my sister has cut the pics out from my memory card.. WHAT THE HELL!!
Until next time, ill post everything out!
7/13/2009
Sulking time
I came back home just to find myself crying.
Why?
Za, my house mate went back to M'sia for good,
another thing is,
i wasn't used to not having her presence around.
On that same day,
it was raining, i just wanna rub it in.
And when i was working,
i hurt my finger.
No biggie,
But it has been numb from last Saturday until now.
I'm pretty sure it's dead.
What's more worse?,
Receiving an email from the company i was hoping to get in,
Saying....
Sorry, you're just not qualified yet. Try again next time.
Why am i putting up so much of shit here?
I could be happy TOO, ya know!
IF ONLY.....
Why?
Za, my house mate went back to M'sia for good,
another thing is,
i wasn't used to not having her presence around.
On that same day,
it was raining, i just wanna rub it in.
And when i was working,
i hurt my finger.
No biggie,
But it has been numb from last Saturday until now.
I'm pretty sure it's dead.
What's more worse?,
Receiving an email from the company i was hoping to get in,
Saying....
Sorry, you're just not qualified yet. Try again next time.
Why am i putting up so much of shit here?
I could be happy TOO, ya know!
IF ONLY.....
6/18/2009
I was thinkin bout u after all
No matter when or where, whenever i watch Naruto, It'll always reminds of me n you back in the days where we wud spent our weekends together watching it. Even after calling it quits for more than a year, the feeling of it, is very unforgettable. I wonder why....but i am entirely sure that i have gotten over you 100%. I do still miss the days we spent together, but i do not want to have another time with you again......So, weird...that i am still thinking about you after all!!
5/31/2009
Want to be a juggler?
So, finally i found another job that pays me.... FYI it's waitressing...if u r wondering what happen to my the other job...is still there. I am trying to juggle with 2 jobs. Seriously, i find it very hard. I really have no idea how people deal with it. Or maybe it's just me...don't know how to manage my time well to suit things....SIGH~~
I never thought i'd be a waitress. To me i never like getting my hands dirty. But u know what, i find it very enjoyable working in a cafeteria. Heaps of things to do to keep you busy. Not to say being a promoter you don't have things to do, but there are times where there's no customers and you just stand at the counter and dream away. Time flies by real slow...1 minute is like an hour~~
I guess when they say networking is very important, it's true. This job, i didn't have to apply for anything and i got it, because i knew the owner. Reality suck. You want to do everything yourself but in fact, you need to depend on networks to fulfill your dream. I was told that "It's not what you know, it's the people you know that is important". Even if you're a dumb ass, if u have good connections, you will be on top in no time. Harsh..!!
I never thought i'd be a waitress. To me i never like getting my hands dirty. But u know what, i find it very enjoyable working in a cafeteria. Heaps of things to do to keep you busy. Not to say being a promoter you don't have things to do, but there are times where there's no customers and you just stand at the counter and dream away. Time flies by real slow...1 minute is like an hour~~
I guess when they say networking is very important, it's true. This job, i didn't have to apply for anything and i got it, because i knew the owner. Reality suck. You want to do everything yourself but in fact, you need to depend on networks to fulfill your dream. I was told that "It's not what you know, it's the people you know that is important". Even if you're a dumb ass, if u have good connections, you will be on top in no time. Harsh..!!
5/22/2009
yeap another entry about 8pohs
Another Friday nyt out in my living room. Was suppose to work but well, i don't want to, so....here i am chatting with May and Jiun. Only to find out, they hardly hang out together. Unlike ol' days there isn't a time, where we stayed at home during weekends. We will sure to find something to do though there aren't much to do.
I guess those days will never come back looking at everyone now. Work, boy friend or wrong time. And maybe it is because a few of us are abroad, the group has less people and not worth coming out to chillex. I told Jiun, at least we didn't take things for granted last time, we played until we got bored. Nothing to regret about eventho things wouldn't go back the way it is. But i do hope we would still be like last time. I really cannot help myself reminiscing about the past.
As for me i don't even have them around. SAD!! Can't wait to see them...Hope to see them ASAP too...
Missing you all always
Love:
Wondney
I guess those days will never come back looking at everyone now. Work, boy friend or wrong time. And maybe it is because a few of us are abroad, the group has less people and not worth coming out to chillex. I told Jiun, at least we didn't take things for granted last time, we played until we got bored. Nothing to regret about eventho things wouldn't go back the way it is. But i do hope we would still be like last time. I really cannot help myself reminiscing about the past.
As for me i don't even have them around. SAD!! Can't wait to see them...Hope to see them ASAP too...
Missing you all always
Love:
Wondney
5/15/2009
What's wrong now?
It's 11.02 p.m. and i still can't write a single word out?!?! Feel so uninspired and unmotivated. This job is really a killer. If they would just pay me basic, i bet i will die for the company because of responsibility sake. But NoooOOooo.....i'm slacking off now... i feel like i am being ripped off. It's okay to work mon to fri or even weekends if i was given a bit of wages but this one no contract, no wages, i am not allowed to have my own personal time on weekends, everything let me know last minute and not to mention trying to teach me how to prioritize my life. Fucking ABSURD!! although, i am flattered that i am being used to the max and i feel like i am appreciated as one of the company's as if most important assets....But still, i am only human if i feel like a Sucker!!
To think about it they can actually cut me off after the first magazine is published. Why? because i don't have a contract with them. And not to mention, they can say that i worked for them voluntarily. They need me now is because the magazine is going to publish soon and that they dont have enough man power to do things...I pity them but yet at the same time if i dont help myself to another job i would soon have to leave this country . Just now i watched the news, 180 people just got redundant from this clothing factory. Looking for job now is going to be so much more tougher. And the retailers aren't doing very well. The economist assumes that it will even be worse for the next few months..DAMN it!!!
I wonder hows my life going to be in another 1 month time!! DIE DIE DIE
To think about it they can actually cut me off after the first magazine is published. Why? because i don't have a contract with them. And not to mention, they can say that i worked for them voluntarily. They need me now is because the magazine is going to publish soon and that they dont have enough man power to do things...I pity them but yet at the same time if i dont help myself to another job i would soon have to leave this country . Just now i watched the news, 180 people just got redundant from this clothing factory. Looking for job now is going to be so much more tougher. And the retailers aren't doing very well. The economist assumes that it will even be worse for the next few months..DAMN it!!!
I wonder hows my life going to be in another 1 month time!! DIE DIE DIE
4/30/2009
Haven't reach the destination yet?
What an early entry for Wondney to post....it's 10.27 a.m down south here. Everyday the wheather is getting more and more fug up!.....Yes, it's me working. Finally, found a job. BUT.......it's not one to settle for as this is a commission based job. I've been given a very nice title. Shud take a pic of my own name card. It says : Nicole Law - Reporter....@_@
I too am wondering how the hell i got myself to be a reporter....?!?! Of all things i can be, but the job i did was more than just a reporter. Multi task..i am no good at it. But oh well, i am taking this as my stepping stone. Gaining expereince and trying to make my CV look better to get into a better company. Ahhh...life....sweet life!!! NOT!!!
Somehow, i feel like something is just incomplete. I did a stupid quiz on FB, "what kind of girl am i?"....turns out 0_0..i'm a lonley girl......AaaWww!! cheer up..i told myself...tht aint so bad lol...."Lonely girl" feel insulted but then it's true i am lonely. Could it be that i miss them too much? yes, i admit i do miss them hell lots and wishing they were here me instead of me being back wid them. Hey, at least i am not desperate to just find some boy and kill time or having the idea of being wid someone because i was lonely...I am proud of myself for taking time off and to realise that i am giving myself a chance to see a million things without needing to take other ppl into my account whether or not that they wud wanna do the same =D
Anyway, it's been a long time since i've blog due to stirred up emotionals that i've went through. I hope there will be better things to come in future. Please God, i have full faith in you..lead me to a spot where the light pierces through the black sky where i can find sweet serenity. LOL *a bit dramatic right ?!?!" i know hahaha.... well, shud get back to work now.. Blog again when i'm free.
Cheers,
Wondney
I too am wondering how the hell i got myself to be a reporter....?!?! Of all things i can be, but the job i did was more than just a reporter. Multi task..i am no good at it. But oh well, i am taking this as my stepping stone. Gaining expereince and trying to make my CV look better to get into a better company. Ahhh...life....sweet life!!! NOT!!!
Somehow, i feel like something is just incomplete. I did a stupid quiz on FB, "what kind of girl am i?"....turns out 0_0..i'm a lonley girl......AaaWww!! cheer up..i told myself...tht aint so bad lol...."Lonely girl" feel insulted but then it's true i am lonely. Could it be that i miss them too much? yes, i admit i do miss them hell lots and wishing they were here me instead of me being back wid them. Hey, at least i am not desperate to just find some boy and kill time or having the idea of being wid someone because i was lonely...I am proud of myself for taking time off and to realise that i am giving myself a chance to see a million things without needing to take other ppl into my account whether or not that they wud wanna do the same =D
Anyway, it's been a long time since i've blog due to stirred up emotionals that i've went through. I hope there will be better things to come in future. Please God, i have full faith in you..lead me to a spot where the light pierces through the black sky where i can find sweet serenity. LOL *a bit dramatic right ?!?!" i know hahaha.... well, shud get back to work now.. Blog again when i'm free.
Cheers,
Wondney
4/10/2009
Emoness Kicks in during Easter
I feel vulnerable and incomplete without you all beside me.
Enough is enough, i cannot take this any longer.
They say perseverance pays.
I'm still left hanging after trying so many times.
When can it END?
It's driving me nuts
I'm still thinkin......
Maybe it is up to I to decide now....
Afraid that i might regret after making it
But then again....i've got nothing to lose and nothing to gain.
It's just my heart is not prepared to let go.
Try starting today by letting go a lil...
Happy Easter Day everybody, May God Bless you in every way.
Enough is enough, i cannot take this any longer.
They say perseverance pays.
I'm still left hanging after trying so many times.
When can it END?
It's driving me nuts
I'm still thinkin......
Maybe it is up to I to decide now....
Afraid that i might regret after making it
But then again....i've got nothing to lose and nothing to gain.
It's just my heart is not prepared to let go.
Try starting today by letting go a lil...
Happy Easter Day everybody, May God Bless you in every way.
2/23/2009
Life...tsk! tsk! tsk!
Wake up and smell the flowers..Graduation is finally over.. What's next?!?!....applying for working visa. Desperate to have a proper job here...really really desperate....Can't wait to work and slowly secure myself financially...Heard it's a bit hard to get a job here...But i'm risking everything to stay here..choosing to stay here, when my life is in back in kl...i heard my friend's are picking up part time job in some banks on the weekends...well, looking at them motivates me to even wanna work harder. But then first thing is first, have to get a FUCKING JOB here...not easy!!not easy!! Please God help me in getting me a job. Only you can provide me a job now and no one else. I write this out to remind me to have continuous faith in you. As i know, i easily loose faith.
Next thing, yes i couldn't believe myself that we've been separated for so long already. Looking at your now pics, brings me back to the times where we used to spent time together and i used to tell myself that time, that i don't think i can ever let you go. Look at me now....being all happy without you in my life. If you ask me, do i want another chance in getting back with you and having a life with you again...i would say no. Things has change, my perspective in seeing things has broaden. But nevertheless i have gained a lot in the past relationship i have with you. I learned how to love, how to care, how to be patient, how to not be stubborn, how to take other people's feeling into consideration before speaking, learn how to put my pride away, learn how to give in and lastly, i was in love with your family. All these experience i have with you brings me to a step further in life. I shall say that you are the first real relationship i have ever gotten into. And for some reason i thought we will be together forever. I guess everything really happens for a reason. It's all good now. I wish u have a jubilee life ahead of you. And thank you for everything.
I've just sent my mom, bro n sis off to the airport yesterday. Somehow, this is my first time missing mom in years. I have never miss mom in like so many years after since i hated her for some time. But this time is different. I miss her staying in my place. I miss her cooking and washing for me. I miss her talking to me and hugging me. I didn't cry tho when i sent them to the airport. Guess was too tired to even cry. After sending them off and head back home for a good rest, the feeling of lonesome came back. Felt like something is missing. When they were here with me i feel so secure and laid back. Now, all alone again. It's fine. I'll try to find something to feel in the gap. Hopefully soon enough before i fall into depression again!
Enough for tonight. Next would be my grad pics and holiday pics with family...
Oyasuminasai
Next thing, yes i couldn't believe myself that we've been separated for so long already. Looking at your now pics, brings me back to the times where we used to spent time together and i used to tell myself that time, that i don't think i can ever let you go. Look at me now....being all happy without you in my life. If you ask me, do i want another chance in getting back with you and having a life with you again...i would say no. Things has change, my perspective in seeing things has broaden. But nevertheless i have gained a lot in the past relationship i have with you. I learned how to love, how to care, how to be patient, how to not be stubborn, how to take other people's feeling into consideration before speaking, learn how to put my pride away, learn how to give in and lastly, i was in love with your family. All these experience i have with you brings me to a step further in life. I shall say that you are the first real relationship i have ever gotten into. And for some reason i thought we will be together forever. I guess everything really happens for a reason. It's all good now. I wish u have a jubilee life ahead of you. And thank you for everything.
I've just sent my mom, bro n sis off to the airport yesterday. Somehow, this is my first time missing mom in years. I have never miss mom in like so many years after since i hated her for some time. But this time is different. I miss her staying in my place. I miss her cooking and washing for me. I miss her talking to me and hugging me. I didn't cry tho when i sent them to the airport. Guess was too tired to even cry. After sending them off and head back home for a good rest, the feeling of lonesome came back. Felt like something is missing. When they were here with me i feel so secure and laid back. Now, all alone again. It's fine. I'll try to find something to feel in the gap. Hopefully soon enough before i fall into depression again!
Enough for tonight. Next would be my grad pics and holiday pics with family...
Oyasuminasai
2/11/2009
Learn to fall and hit the ground
He slowly took one step behind,
Leaving me to learn how to stand on my my 2 feet,
All this while,
He's been there to hold me whenever i fall,
This time,
He has made up his mind,
Letting me stand all by myself,
Widen the boundaries he has set for me,
Taking off the ring of protection that he has layed,
I'm not used to it,
Once he told me that,
As all this while,
You have always been protecting me,
But i'll accept the fact that it's time for me to start learning how to stand by myself.
I can too be like the rest,
And i want to be like the rest,
To make you proud and not worry about me all the time.
Thank you for being there for me ever since i was brought to this planet.
I wouldn't complain about my life isn't all that perfect,
I find life being perfect with the people i am with and has grown with me through out the many years,
I am blessed with the people whom i have met,
And i'm overwhelmed with gratitude having them by my side.
I shall say that i am lucky to have lovely friends who are the best people i can ever have in life.
Not to mention, you all complete me in a way.
Without you all, i am nothing.
Missing all of you every now and then.
Leaving me to learn how to stand on my my 2 feet,
All this while,
He's been there to hold me whenever i fall,
This time,
He has made up his mind,
Letting me stand all by myself,
Widen the boundaries he has set for me,
Taking off the ring of protection that he has layed,
I'm not used to it,
Once he told me that,
As all this while,
You have always been protecting me,
But i'll accept the fact that it's time for me to start learning how to stand by myself.
I can too be like the rest,
And i want to be like the rest,
To make you proud and not worry about me all the time.
Thank you for being there for me ever since i was brought to this planet.
I wouldn't complain about my life isn't all that perfect,
I find life being perfect with the people i am with and has grown with me through out the many years,
I am blessed with the people whom i have met,
And i'm overwhelmed with gratitude having them by my side.
I shall say that i am lucky to have lovely friends who are the best people i can ever have in life.
Not to mention, you all complete me in a way.
Without you all, i am nothing.
Missing all of you every now and then.
2/06/2009
Lost in space
Another wake up with tears in my eyes streaming down my cheeks,
landing on the same pillow i once used to cried on,
Heart with an arrow pierced through my fragile lil heart
Another 365 of lonesome nights again
Enjoying drowning myself in sorrow using alcohol
But this time the picture was perfectly clear
The memories i have of you is awfully vague
Pointless to wish and hope
Playtime is over
Let's get back to earth to face reality.
landing on the same pillow i once used to cried on,
Heart with an arrow pierced through my fragile lil heart
Another 365 of lonesome nights again
Enjoying drowning myself in sorrow using alcohol
But this time the picture was perfectly clear
The memories i have of you is awfully vague
Pointless to wish and hope
Playtime is over
Let's get back to earth to face reality.
2/04/2009
My experiment
Today is my first day of dieting using cigarettes....does it work?!?! HELL YEAH!!..i used fags to ease my cravings for food...and it really works....Fingers crossed hopefully, after convo i won't be addicted to fags and for now i hope to loose at least 2 KGs in 1 week time... =D
2/03/2009
Like WhateVer!
Eppie Chinese NEw yeaR peeps....late entry...i agree...but please forgive me as i have a lot of things to do....I've been puttin on a lot of weight...i dont know why...been eating a lot..big appetite all of a sudden...and grad day is in another 1 week time..im so fugged....i tried to eat lesser and healthier...seems like it's not working. I guess have to do it the unhealthy way....what do i have in mind u asked?....im planning to use cigarettes to lose weight..bad idea but after convo shud be fine..
i'll make sure i don't get hooked up by it.
Another thing is i found something that is really unpleasant. Yes, you....i'm calling you a suPEr Hypocrite...why would i say so?...go figure out yourself..why come complainin about my actions when you did the same too..Revengeful or what? i dont know...one thing i know you're corrupting your own values too. Don't get me wrong here, that i'd be awfully sad about it. It's just that i think you shudnt judge nor condemn others when you too have did the same.
i'll make sure i don't get hooked up by it.
Another thing is i found something that is really unpleasant. Yes, you....i'm calling you a suPEr Hypocrite...why would i say so?...go figure out yourself..why come complainin about my actions when you did the same too..Revengeful or what? i dont know...one thing i know you're corrupting your own values too. Don't get me wrong here, that i'd be awfully sad about it. It's just that i think you shudnt judge nor condemn others when you too have did the same.
1/30/2009
Perfect Timing
Wish the night can be longer,
I wanna stay in your arms for awhile more,
But time just would not allowed us to be together,
Knowing what the consequences are,
Both of us has built boundaries so that we won't cross it,
Just like the rest,
You are already judging me,
And i too judging you,
whether or not we were right about things,
I have no clue,
Wanna know more about each other?
It's impossible for us to do so now,
Time is running out,
Let's depend on fate to bring us back together.
I wanna stay in your arms for awhile more,
But time just would not allowed us to be together,
Knowing what the consequences are,
Both of us has built boundaries so that we won't cross it,
Just like the rest,
You are already judging me,
And i too judging you,
whether or not we were right about things,
I have no clue,
Wanna know more about each other?
It's impossible for us to do so now,
Time is running out,
Let's depend on fate to bring us back together.
1/16/2009
Another untitled thought
As I watched the moon from the window in Magis at Auckland,
i was thinking,
5 years from now,
Where would i be?,
How would i be?,
What would i turn out to be?,
The exact same question i asked myself 5 years ago,
But in a different place,
And with the different people i was with.
Who would know 5 years from then i would end up here in Auckland,
clubbing with a different people.
i was thinking,
5 years from now,
Where would i be?,
How would i be?,
What would i turn out to be?,
The exact same question i asked myself 5 years ago,
But in a different place,
And with the different people i was with.
Who would know 5 years from then i would end up here in Auckland,
clubbing with a different people.
1/15/2009
Undelivered message
I can't say that i don't miss you at all
I do very much
Whenever i thought of messaging you
I would think twice
At the end of the day
I still do not have the guts to do so.
I do very much
Whenever i thought of messaging you
I would think twice
At the end of the day
I still do not have the guts to do so.
1/11/2009
2009's Resolution
I know it's a bit late to post up HAppy New yeaR EveryONe and my resolutions. Ohhh well!! Better late than Never right.....
09's Resolution would be as simple as this:
#1: Eat right
#2: Don't be Lazy
#3: Do something to pump up my confidence
#4: Try to achieve the things that i've always wanted to
#5: Fix my screwed sleeping time
#6: Keep clean and tidy
#7: Absorb every lesson i can learn
#8: Start reading to improve language
#9: Pick up mandarin class
#10: Focus
#11: Stop slouching
#12: Exercise
#13: Throw away the habit of procrastinating
There...i know it looks and sounds easy....but it's real hard when you actually start on it. Need strong will and discipline which i am so lacked in. Aaand motivation to do everything BlAh!!
Stay tuned for next post it's a lil re-cap of old pics...Expired Pics =P
Happy 2009 peeps!! Mwahhhh..
09's Resolution would be as simple as this:
#1: Eat right
#2: Don't be Lazy
#3: Do something to pump up my confidence
#4: Try to achieve the things that i've always wanted to
#5: Fix my screwed sleeping time
#6: Keep clean and tidy
#7: Absorb every lesson i can learn
#8: Start reading to improve language
#9: Pick up mandarin class
#10: Focus
#11: Stop slouching
#12: Exercise
#13: Throw away the habit of procrastinating
There...i know it looks and sounds easy....but it's real hard when you actually start on it. Need strong will and discipline which i am so lacked in. Aaand motivation to do everything BlAh!!
Stay tuned for next post it's a lil re-cap of old pics...Expired Pics =P
Happy 2009 peeps!! Mwahhhh..
1/10/2009
New Year's hearty words
This few weeks, we've been talking.........
It all started from last December 2009, New Years Day..i guess both of us are going through the same feeling. The feeling of being lonesome. Her family had move to Perth leaving her and her younger brother alone. Meanwhile, me, go figure out what to do with my life in Auckland. To stay or leave?
I remember clearly back in the days where we used to call each other's house phone and chat all day or all night even though we'll be seeing each other later in class. We tuition together, we recessed together, and we hang out together a lot. If u ask me do i miss the old days just hanging with her alone, i do. And now, we have come to a point where we need to use technologies such as online chat box to see each other and talk to each other as well. Not to mention using social networks to keep track with their lives. How things had change over the years, but at least i still have you. A blink of an eye, its 2009 already. Somehow to me, 2007 was just like yesterday. That's when i lost myself, thought that by maybe coming here, i will find my soul back quickly. Fact is, i used one whole year to search back the ME and bring myself back alive again.
Yes, what you said it's true. You have always been protecting others. While i want to tell you, if i'm back there with you and the rest of them, i will like to take the opportunity to build you a new set of walls, sending my troops of army to defend your insecurities. Anyhow, no matter what happens, i've got your back. Even if you condemn me i would never leave your side as i know you are a true friend who's worth going for the extra miles. Yesterdays' conversation between you and me was awesome. It's been such a long time since i've heard you laugh like a mad person. I miss your hysterical laughter. It reminds me of us doing stupid things with the rest of the babes.
The incident that left us both being apart, i am sorry for not being able to be there to console you when you needed someone. And it is not that i don't want to let you into my disturbing world. It's just that i too care for you too much not to let you in. I didn't know it would end up hurting both of us by doing what i did. But i now learned that is ok to show you my fears as i have a friend that would look out for me, that will lend me a hand to pull me up from drowning.
As for the rest, i have not forget you all, not even once. Even when i'm here i was constantly dreaming of you all every night for the past first 6 to 8 months. And it is so nice to hear HL & PS voice last 2 days in HOHO. Come to think of it, we've been together for 10 years now. How can i live without the memories of us all. I shall say that all of you are my motivators in doing everything, this include Wei Li as well. I wish i can be home with you all, but seeing everyone of you working on your careers, drives me to think i should too do what i should to make you all proud and not always worried about me. I know i can be naive and hard headed. I would like to show you all the new me when i return. I am waiting for our next trip, anywhere will do as long as all of us are present in that trip.
Last but not least, Shieng you're another good friend i've found. I'm glad we sticked together in college days. And even we're far apart during Uni days which we're suppose to be together, at least we still keep contact and i feel our friendship bonding is stronger. Hope to see you soon, i wanna bunk with you like how i used to mwahh!!
To: SLKY
If we're destined to be with each other, we will be. As we would not know what the future brings, this is for the best even though its heart breaking . I would never forget what you have done and the memories will be preserved in a treasure box within my system. You will always be cherish.
I EVOL you all very much....
I remember clearly back in the days where we used to call each other's house phone and chat all day or all night even though we'll be seeing each other later in class. We tuition together, we recessed together, and we hang out together a lot. If u ask me do i miss the old days just hanging with her alone, i do. And now, we have come to a point where we need to use technologies such as online chat box to see each other and talk to each other as well. Not to mention using social networks to keep track with their lives. How things had change over the years, but at least i still have you. A blink of an eye, its 2009 already. Somehow to me, 2007 was just like yesterday. That's when i lost myself, thought that by maybe coming here, i will find my soul back quickly. Fact is, i used one whole year to search back the ME and bring myself back alive again.
Yes, what you said it's true. You have always been protecting others. While i want to tell you, if i'm back there with you and the rest of them, i will like to take the opportunity to build you a new set of walls, sending my troops of army to defend your insecurities. Anyhow, no matter what happens, i've got your back. Even if you condemn me i would never leave your side as i know you are a true friend who's worth going for the extra miles. Yesterdays' conversation between you and me was awesome. It's been such a long time since i've heard you laugh like a mad person. I miss your hysterical laughter. It reminds me of us doing stupid things with the rest of the babes.
The incident that left us both being apart, i am sorry for not being able to be there to console you when you needed someone. And it is not that i don't want to let you into my disturbing world. It's just that i too care for you too much not to let you in. I didn't know it would end up hurting both of us by doing what i did. But i now learned that is ok to show you my fears as i have a friend that would look out for me, that will lend me a hand to pull me up from drowning.
As for the rest, i have not forget you all, not even once. Even when i'm here i was constantly dreaming of you all every night for the past first 6 to 8 months. And it is so nice to hear HL & PS voice last 2 days in HOHO. Come to think of it, we've been together for 10 years now. How can i live without the memories of us all. I shall say that all of you are my motivators in doing everything, this include Wei Li as well. I wish i can be home with you all, but seeing everyone of you working on your careers, drives me to think i should too do what i should to make you all proud and not always worried about me. I know i can be naive and hard headed. I would like to show you all the new me when i return. I am waiting for our next trip, anywhere will do as long as all of us are present in that trip.
Last but not least, Shieng you're another good friend i've found. I'm glad we sticked together in college days. And even we're far apart during Uni days which we're suppose to be together, at least we still keep contact and i feel our friendship bonding is stronger. Hope to see you soon, i wanna bunk with you like how i used to mwahh!!
To: SLKY
If we're destined to be with each other, we will be. As we would not know what the future brings, this is for the best even though its heart breaking . I would never forget what you have done and the memories will be preserved in a treasure box within my system. You will always be cherish.
I EVOL you all very much....
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