Let's end my story now on earth, shall we?

I would want to admit now that i really really feel like giving up altogether,

Get down on my knees and beg, please take me away from here.

I don't know what is life anymore.

Taking away my own life would be a sin to do and not being able to have another one next time,

but living life here now is the hardest thing to do.

I am torn and worn down to my core.

I am shaken by reality, unable to cope and fight.

I was never the strong one and maybe never was i going to be one too.

I admit now that i am unable to do things myself as much as i think that i can.

You have really rip it out from me so hard to show me that i can't do it alone.

As much as i am learning how to love myself, i am hating myself more.

Grey's words

I have never stopped crying since the day he left me.

Every night, before i close my eyes,

tears streams down my cheek,

i had to cry myself to sleep to feel better.

When i fall asleep, it is then the only time that i can see you,

and i don't want to wake up because it hurts so badly to know that you're not around.

I watched Grey's Anatomy yesterday night coz it was on Star channel,

before it ends, Grey said this:

"Sometimes you can just let guard down, you do not necessarily need to be tough always...."

"It's now that i feel safe with myself and that i am not ready to give it up just like that......"

I'm only human hence i allow myself to cry and to feel what it is like to be left alone again.

I'm so tired of being ditch over and over again as if i'm worth nothing at all.

This time is was my fault, i was at wrong.

I think i should really reflect on myself and change myself for a better.